TwoBusy: Things Other People Love That I Just Don't Get

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March 29, 2010

Things Other People Love That I Just Don't Get

Remember back in olden times, when interwebblogging was aflood with all kinds of playful memes that gave the unimaginative (e.g. me) a starting point for posting when we had nothing else to say? It feels like a long time ago, doesn't it? Well, good news: Princess Nebraska created a brand new one outta nothing... which then got swiped by She Likes Purple, and Jodifur, and The New Girl, and... so on and so on and so on. Which brings us here.

And there was much rejoicing.

Lady Gaga
Yeah, the appeal of the whole Lady Gaga thing escapes me entirely. Perhaps it's because I don't dance, don't frequent clubs, don't care about fashion, and therefore am unmoved by music that seems to be more about dancing, clubbing and insane fashion whateverthehellitis than... uh... the music itself. Or maybe it's just because I'm a penised-American with common sense. I dunno.
True Blood
I have a lot of friends who are crazy about this show - some of whom are probably reading this sentence right now and wondering what terrible things I'm going to say about Sookie et al - and honestly... I'm just baffled. Why is this special? It's southern-fried melodrama with fangs. Granted, it's got boatloads more sexy than the whole Twilight phenomenon (do I even have to mention how much I don't get Twilight, btw? Virgin vampire nerds being boring. Fantastic.), but in the handful of episodes I've seen... it hasn't seemed terribly well-written or well-acted. As those things are kind of important to me, I'll pass.
Politics
I'm swiping this one from The New Girl, because I'm on board with it 100%. I know some people who are insanely passionate - and yes, insanely is the correct modifier - about all things political, and who drive themselves into an absolute frenzy over anything and everything that might be considered even remotely polemic from a political standpoint. Here's the thing: I generally don't care all that much, and while I may have opinions on most of these matters, I'm not going to get worked up over them. I respect your right to have an opinion and to share it, and I'm happy to engage in a reasonable discourse on most topics, but it's my expectation that you'll show similar respect for my right to not feel too strongly one way or another. And when discussions of social/economic/political issues digress into name-calling and/or finger-pointing? Regardless of whether I may or may not agree with a perspective on an issue... nothing turns me more quickly or strongly in the opposite direction than that kind of behavior.
Julia Roberts
Not really a great actress. Not really all that attractive. Not really sure why she's as HUGE and IMPORTANT and EVERYWHERE as she is.
NASCAR
Maybe it's a cultural thing, but the appeal of driving in circles always has been and always will be lost on me. I understand that there's strategy and skill involved in driving, doing pit stops, drafting, bumping, um... and I'm all out of racing terminology. But as a spectator sport, I can't imagine anything less gratifying than sitting in place while guys drive in circles for hours at a time. My suggestion: clear out one of those big midwestern states nobody is using - Kansas, for example - and transform it into a badass, steeplechase-style Cannonball Run course with jumps and tunnels and loop-de-loops and... basically, create the high-speed driving equivalent of a miniature golf course. THAT I would watch. NASCAR? Not in this lifetime.
Beach Vacations
Don't you get bored? I get bored. Oh my God, do I get bored. Granted, now that I have kids I spend way more time at the beach than I used to - because those malevolent creatures beautiful children can happily spend anywhere from 2-16 hours splashing around happily without a second thought - but my own inclination has never, ever, ever been to ask "Where can I find someplace tropical and hot where I can lie on the sand and recreate a Corona commercial" when I've thought about vacation destinations. Hell, on our honeymoon my wife was not treated to a week in Hawai'i or Aruba or Costa Rica, but rather was brought to the exotic shores of... Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island. Where it rained almost the entire time. Awesome.
Running
That "runner's high" I've always heard about? Never experienced it. Every time I run, I feel like I'm going to die. Yes, I understand the health benefits... that's why I do it. But it hurts like hell, while I'm doing it and afterwards (knees, shins, muscles, ligaments, pride). I hate hate hate hate hate running, and cannot begin to wrap my head around how any why so many people profess to love it. Unless you're all masochists, in which case: have at it. By all means.
Potato Chips
Why? With so many other fine snack choices available on American shelves (USA! USA! USA!), why would anyone choose potato chips? They are salty and dull, without any of the redeeming cheezy-packed goodness of Doritos or Cheetos or Smartfood or Jax or Combos or what have you. Yeah, I can see they have a purpose insofar as dipping is concerned - Ruffles in an onion dip is just fine, thank you - but on their own? *shrugs shoulders*
Iced Tea
Gross gross gross gross gross. Given the choice between drinking iced tea or dying of dehydration, I'd probably drink the iced tea, but afterwards I'd regret it.
College Basketball & Football
I realize this is a reflection of how and where I've grown up, but as a guy born, raised and schooled in New England - a place where college sports don't come close to holding the same level of importance as our beloved Sox, Pats and Celts - the mass appeal and hoopla associated with big-time college sports eludes me entirely. I have little doubt that if I'd gone to a D1 college, I'd have been as rabid and hardcore a fan as any of my friends who had that experience... but I didn't. And as a result, while I can appreciate the spectacle of March Madness and the insane intensity that its 1-and-out format can create, by and large I'm left unmoved by college hoops except as a primer for getting to know the guys I'll be watching in the NBA in a year or two. Same with college football... if I haven't read articles about specific players or programs, chances are I know jack about either of the two teams I'll see flickering across my screen on Saturdays between September and December... and it's almost certain I won't care enough to actually stop and watch the game. Basically, I have no investment in college sports, and subsequently they hold about as much interest as... I dunno, tennis? Yeah, tennis. I'll watch 5 minutes of tennis, college hoops or college football, and then I'm done. And while I respect and understand how others can feel so passionate about them, it's just not an interest I share in the least.

Anyhow. That's me. What about you? Answer below, or swipe the meme yourself -- and just let me know where to find it, so I can read & mock you just as you're about to mock me.

03:23 PM | Permalink

Comments

And there was much rejoicing.

Lady Gaga
Yeah, the appeal of the whole Lady Gaga thing escapes me entirely. Perhaps it's because I don't dance, don't frequent clubs, don't care about fashion, and therefore am unmoved by music that seems to be more about dancing, clubbing and insane fashion whateverthehellitis than... uh... the music itself. Or maybe it's just because I'm a penised-American with common sense. I dunno.
True Blood
I have a lot of friends who are crazy about this show - some of whom are probably reading this sentence right now and wondering what terrible things I'm going to say about Sookie et al - and honestly... I'm just baffled. Why is this special? It's southern-fried melodrama with fangs. Granted, it's got boatloads more sexy than the whole Twilight phenomenon (do I even have to mention how much I don't get Twilight, btw? Virgin vampire nerds being boring. Fantastic.), but in the handful of episodes I've seen... it hasn't seemed terribly well-written or well-acted. As those things are kind of important to me, I'll pass.
Politics
I'm swiping this one from The New Girl, because I'm on board with it 100%. I know some people who are insanely passionate - and yes, insanely is the correct modifier - about all things political, and who drive themselves into an absolute frenzy over anything and everything that might be considered even remotely polemic from a political standpoint. Here's the thing: I generally don't care all that much, and while I may have opinions on most of these matters, I'm not going to get worked up over them. I respect your right to have an opinion and to share it, and I'm happy to engage in a reasonable discourse on most topics, but it's my expectation that you'll show similar respect for my right to not feel too strongly one way or another. And when discussions of social/economic/political issues digress into name-calling and/or finger-pointing? Regardless of whether I may or may not agree with a perspective on an issue... nothing turns me more quickly or strongly in the opposite direction than that kind of behavior.
Julia Roberts
Not really a great actress. Not really all that attractive. Not really sure why she's as HUGE and IMPORTANT and EVERYWHERE as she is.
NASCAR
Maybe it's a cultural thing, but the appeal of driving in circles always has been and always will be lost on me. I understand that there's strategy and skill involved in driving, doing pit stops, drafting, bumping, um... and I'm all out of racing terminology. But as a spectator sport, I can't imagine anything less gratifying than sitting in place while guys drive in circles for hours at a time. My suggestion: clear out one of those big midwestern states nobody is using - Kansas, for example - and transform it into a badass, steeplechase-style Cannonball Run course with jumps and tunnels and loop-de-loops and... basically, create the high-speed driving equivalent of a miniature golf course. THAT I would watch. NASCAR? Not in this lifetime.
Beach Vacations
Don't you get bored? I get bored. Oh my God, do I get bored. Granted, now that I have kids I spend way more time at the beach than I used to - because those malevolent creatures beautiful children can happily spend anywhere from 2-16 hours splashing around happily without a second thought - but my own inclination has never, ever, ever been to ask "Where can I find someplace tropical and hot where I can lie on the sand and recreate a Corona commercial" when I've thought about vacation destinations. Hell, on our honeymoon my wife was not treated to a week in Hawai'i or Aruba or Costa Rica, but rather was brought to the exotic shores of... Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island. Where it rained almost the entire time. Awesome.
Running
That "runner's high" I've always heard about? Never experienced it. Every time I run, I feel like I'm going to die. Yes, I understand the health benefits... that's why I do it. But it hurts like hell, while I'm doing it and afterwards (knees, shins, muscles, ligaments, pride). I hate hate hate hate hate running, and cannot begin to wrap my head around how any why so many people profess to love it. Unless you're all masochists, in which case: have at it. By all means.
Potato Chips
Why? With so many other fine snack choices available on American shelves (USA! USA! USA!), why would anyone choose potato chips? They are salty and dull, without any of the redeeming cheezy-packed goodness of Doritos or Cheetos or Smartfood or Jax or Combos or what have you. Yeah, I can see they have a purpose insofar as dipping is concerned - Ruffles in an onion dip is just fine, thank you - but on their own? *shrugs shoulders*
Iced Tea
Gross gross gross gross gross. Given the choice between drinking iced tea or dying of dehydration, I'd probably drink the iced tea, but afterwards I'd regret it.
College Basketball & Football
I realize this is a reflection of how and where I've grown up, but as a guy born, raised and schooled in New England - a place where college sports don't come close to holding the same level of importance as our beloved Sox, Pats and Celts - the mass appeal and hoopla associated with big-time college sports eludes me entirely. I have little doubt that if I'd gone to a D1 college, I'd have been as rabid and hardcore a fan as any of my friends who had that experience... but I didn't. And as a result, while I can appreciate the spectacle of March Madness and the insane intensity that its 1-and-out format can create, by and large I'm left unmoved by college hoops except as a primer for getting to know the guys I'll be watching in the NBA in a year or two. Same with college football... if I haven't read articles about specific players or programs, chances are I know jack about either of the two teams I'll see flickering across my screen on Saturdays between September and December... and it's almost certain I won't care enough to actually stop and watch the game. Basically, I have no investment in college sports, and subsequently they hold about as much interest as... I dunno, tennis? Yeah, tennis. I'll watch 5 minutes of tennis, college hoops or college football, and then I'm done. And while I respect and understand how others can feel so passionate about them, it's just not an interest I share in the least.

Anyhow. That's me. What about you? Answer below, or swipe the meme yourself -- and just let me know where to find it, so I can read & mock you just as you're about to mock me.

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A TwoBusy Primer

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Def Leppard: Hysteria
It only took me 25 years, but I finally picked up Hysteria the other week... and it's everything I hoped and feared it would be. Does it sound awesome? Holy hell yes, it sounds awesome — every explosive drumbeat, chiming/echoing guitar lick and Joe Elliott high note seguing perfectly into a creamy, harmony-driven chorus sounds like the word "awesome" would sound if awesome was a sound. But is it also stupid? Well... yes. Honestly, the lyrics on this album are nothing shy of appalling — bottoming out with immortal "You've got the peaches, I've got the cream" couplet from Pour Some Sugar On Me. (cringes) But when you turn off your brain and allow yourself to get caught up in the gorgeous awesome of all that sound... the appeal of Def Leppard becomes crystal clear.
Alcest: Les Voyages de L'ame
Honestly, I'm running out of ways to describe this music to you. I can call it shoegaze-metal, but that may not mean a thing to you. I can tell you it fuses the aggression and (occasional) blood-curdling screaming of one genre with the gorgeous melodics, atmosphere and graceful, haunting vocals of the other. I can tell you that the fact that it's (mostly) in French doesn't do a damned bit to detract from the breathtaking beauty and emotional resonance of the music, which stands up to the impossibly high standards set by Alcest's first two albums. I can tell you all of this and more, but unless you give yourself the opportunity to actually listen to what they've created... you'll never really understand why Alcest may be my favorite band in the world right now.
Billy Squier: Essential Billy Squier
I finally got my act together a picked up some Billy Squier. And you know what? His best songs hold up beauuuutifully. This is Rawk music with a capital R, and there's not a damned thing wrong with that. Everybody Wants You, In The Dark, The Stroke, Learn How To Live... I can't believe I waited this long to bring this music back into my life. Awesome.
A Winged Victory for the Sullen: A Winged Victory for the Sullen
My 2011 album of the year. Achingly gorgeous neo-classical compositions designed to leave you on the verge of tears. I've been listening to it almost non-stop for months; you should do the same.
Hammock: Longest Year EP
There are few things more frustrating than trying to describe the gorgeous, evocative and profoundly atmospheric post-rock music of Hammock without A) resorting to clichés that, while not necessarily inaccurate, do little to accurately describe the listening experience; or B) having the musical vocabulary to adequately describe just what it is about these lengthy, largely wordless compositions that hypnotizes and moves me so profoundly. So I'll just say: imagine a film. No words; just images. Flashing, semi-grainy images of someone from your past — impossibly beautiful, vibrant and full of life. Someone lost to you forever. Imagine that feeling, of love and impossible longing and desperate, hopeless desire to recapture that moment and make it last forever. Now hunt down the title track to this EP, close your eyes, and listen. And you will know: this is the music for that feeling.

Reading is Fundamental

Jane Roper: Double Time: How I Survived - and Mostly Thrived - Through the First Three Years of Mothering Twins
I really, really wish that Jane Roper's terrific Double Time had been around when I needed it, because it's exactly the kind of thing I was desperately hoping to find when my wife and I discovered we were having twins: a warm, funny, immensely personable and eminently readable take on how someone like me navigated the discovery and aftermath of "Oh my god! It's twins" without crashing on the rocks and sinking to the bottom. Of course, there's a lot more to the book than just kid/parenting stuff - Roper devotes a sizeable amount of real estate to discussing in sobering and often moving terms her struggles with depression and bipolarism, which are further complicated by the myriad challenges of being a twinfant parent - but make no mistake: twin wrangling is at the heart of the book, and is the engine that drives not only the story but Roper's impressive ability to wrench honestly, truly funny observations from the kind of parenting scenarios that might kill a lesser person.
Darwyn Cooke: Richard Stark's Parker, Vol. 1: The Hunter
Thank you, Adam P Knave, for making this a part of my life. Richard Stark (a pseudonym for the late grand master of crime fiction, Donald Westlake) produced a series of Parker novels back in the day — creating a dark, violent antihero who's been brought to life (to varying degrees of success) on the big screen in everything from Lee Marvin's Point Blank to Mel Gibson's Payback. It's a very different proposition from the incredibly funny caper stories that brought Westlake much of his success as a novelist, and perhaps that's why he created a separate pen name for the series... but as far as deep, dark, delicious noir fiction goes, Parker is prime stuff. All of which is to say that it's great source material for Darwyn Cooke, who brings the first Parker novel to life here in a comics-style format that does absolute, compelling justice to the sudden violence, moral ambivalence and creeping sense of doom that made The Hunter such a landmark in noir fiction. Wonderfully moody and incredibly evocative of the story's time and place, Cooke's recreation of the story via sequential art makes for a wonderfully fast and furious read... and, in the end, left me hungry for me. Great stuff.
Bob Mould: See a Little Light: The Trail of Rage and Melody
As someone who's been a fan of Bob Mould's music for more than 20 years - tracing his career from Hüsker Dü to his solo career to Sugar and then back again to solo life - I approached his memoir with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. Why? Because you never know whether someone's ability to write compelling stories in song form will translate to a longer-form narrative. Fortunately, it turns out that my anticipation was justified – because Mould delivers a consistently interesting and engaging account of his life both within and outside of music that offers insight into the eclectic experiences that shaped the rage and melody of the subtitle. From his often-stormy personal life (including his private and public experiences as a gay man) to his relationships with bandmates to his foray into the world of writing for professional wrestling (it's true!) and beyond, it's a story that translates well across 400+ pages... and while you're aware that you're getting only one side of the argument when he talks about his battles with lovers, record labels, Grant Hart and more, Mould tells it all in a voice every bit as compelling and relatable as that offered by his singing. Would I have enjoyed this as much if I hadn't been familiar with his music? Probably not — and having a pretty good context in terms of his music and the scene(s) he's been a part of over the years is almost certainly a prerequisite for enjoying this book. That said: it's a really good read, and if his music has earned even a small place in your heart, it's a worthwhile investment of your time.
Erik Larson: Thunderstruck
Considering how much I'd enjoyed two of Larson's earlier books - Isaac's Storm and the completely wonderful Devil in the White City - it took me a hell of a long time to get around to reading Thunderstruck. Honestly, there was a pretty good layer of dust sitting on the jacket when I finally picked it up and went to work a couple of weeks ago. Why? Because, for no reason I can really explain, I was afraid I'd find it kind of dull. Unfortunately, it turns out my apprehension was well-justified. I can certainly understand why Larson was attracted to the subject matter: he parallels Marconi's invention of radio with the then-sensational Crippen "Basement Murder" in London, and how the two intersected in the mid-Atlantic, as Crippen attempted to flee to America. Which sounds interesting, right? Wrong. The Marconi storyline is extremely well-researched, and Larson does his best to bring it to life, but ultimately it comes across as something that is clearly far more important than it is actually interesting. Marconi himself: smart, driven, not a nice guy, and not a terribly compelling subject. And Crippen? Who killed his harpy wife and fled the UK with his secretary/lover? Is a cypher... a man universally described (as is clear through Larson's impeccable research) as a small, quiet, listless little creature. And while I spent the entirety of the book hoping for a revelation in which we come to understand how such a non-entity came to commit such a strange and gruesome murder, I came away frustrated -- as no such revelation ever appears. Larson (like the police) knows Crippen did it, but we never really understand how (functionally) or why (in a character-motivation sense). In the end, I found myself wishing that I'd left the book collecting dust. Very disappointing.
Brian Boone: I Love Rock 'n' Roll (Except When I Hate It): Extremely Important Stuff About the Songs and Bands You Love, Hate, Love to Hate, and Hate to Love
Brian Boone is a funny, funny, funny man... and I was happy as hell (if unsurprised) to discover that the same sharp, sarcastic humor he brings to his blog and tweetstream manifests throughout this book. Now, I'm aware that I'm more or less the ideal audience for this book - I love music, I love lists, and I love sharp, sarcastic humor - but that doesn't mean that the content is appealing only to those who fall into the somewhat limited blue lobster demographic. Let me put it to you this way. One section of the book is called "Succinct Information In Column Form," and features an item with a number of options beneath the question "Little girl object of fancy or little girl object of fancy that is also the title of a Mariah Carey album?" The answer, per Brian Boone? "Mariah Carey has released Rainbow, Charmbracelet, Butterfly, Daydream and Glitter. She has not yet released albums titled Unicorn, Princess or Sparkles." If you're the kind of person I think you are, that just made you cackle. And that also makes you the kind of person who would enjoy the rest of the book — which I certainly did.