TwoBusy: If this is your mother tongue... you've got serious mother issues.

October 22, 2011

If this is your mother tongue... you've got serious mother issues.

I don't know if there's such a thing as capital punishment for crimes against the English language, but after receiving this DM postcard for a condo on Cape Cod (and a condo for seniors, at that... apparently I'm more decrepit that I'd previously understood) I suddenly feel strongly in favor of it.

On the off chance you can't read the image above, I've taken the liberty of meticulously recreating Gerald D. Coughlan's text - including all original spacing, spelling and diction - for your edification:

Heatherwood at Kings Way in Yarmouth Port,this

Luxury Senior Condo complex is a pleasure to show.This
recently updated 1 bedroom unit has cathederal ceilings w/
private 2nd floor deck.

Monthly fee includes a meal plan,housekeeping.

security,social activities,wellness center and

guest suite. Common dining room,library,meeting room,pool
and outdoor gardens make this property a northside jewel.
Located within the

complex hair salon,crafts room andgame/movie room. Kings
Way has a Post Office and a Bank for

your convenience.This unit has deeded parking garage. Price
to SELL at $98,900.00

Here's my plan: I'm gonna buy Mr. Coughlan a dictionary and a Strunk & White. Then I'm gonna beat him to death with 'em. Then I'll go to a "cathederal" to pray for his twisted, illiterate soul. Then I'll probably have a beer.

Who wants in?

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

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Reading is Fundamental

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