Remember back in olden times, when interwebblogging was aflood with all kinds of playful memes that gave the unimaginative (e.g. me) a starting point for posting when we had nothing else to say? It feels like a long time ago, doesn't it? Well, good news: Princess Nebraska created a brand new one outta nothing... which then got swiped by She Likes Purple, and Jodifur, and The New Girl, and... so on and so on and so on. Which brings us here.
And there was much rejoicing.
- Lady Gaga
Yeah, the appeal of the whole Lady Gaga thing escapes me entirely. Perhaps it's because I don't dance, don't frequent clubs, don't care about fashion, and therefore am unmoved by music that seems to be more about dancing, clubbing and insane fashion whateverthehellitis than... uh... the music itself. Or maybe it's just because I'm a penised-American with common sense. I dunno.
- True Blood
I have a lot of friends who are crazy about this show - some of whom are probably reading this sentence right now and wondering what terrible things I'm going to say about Sookie et al - and honestly... I'm just baffled. Why is this special? It's southern-fried melodrama with fangs. Granted, it's got boatloads more sexy than the whole Twilight phenomenon (do I even have to mention how much I don't get Twilight, btw? Virgin vampire nerds being boring. Fantastic.), but in the handful of episodes I've seen... it hasn't seemed terribly well-written or well-acted. As those things are kind of important to me, I'll pass.
I'm swiping this one from The New Girl, because I'm on board with it 100%. I know some people who are insanely passionate - and yes, insanely is the correct modifier - about all things political, and who drive themselves into an absolute frenzy over anything and everything that might be considered even remotely polemic from a political standpoint. Here's the thing: I generally don't care all that much, and while I may have opinions on most of these matters, I'm not going to get worked up over them. I respect your right to have an opinion and to share it, and I'm happy to engage in a reasonable discourse on most topics, but it's my expectation that you'll show similar respect for my right to not feel too strongly one way or another. And when discussions of social/economic/political issues digress into name-calling and/or finger-pointing? Regardless of whether I may or may not agree with a perspective on an issue... nothing turns me more quickly or strongly in the opposite direction than that kind of behavior.
- Julia Roberts
Not really a great actress. Not really all that attractive. Not really sure why she's as HUGE and IMPORTANT and EVERYWHERE as she is.
Maybe it's a cultural thing, but the appeal of driving in circles always has been and always will be lost on me. I understand that there's strategy and skill involved in driving, doing pit stops, drafting, bumping, um... and I'm all out of racing terminology. But as a spectator sport, I can't imagine anything less gratifying than sitting in place while guys drive in circles for hours at a time. My suggestion: clear out one of those big midwestern states nobody is using - Kansas, for example - and transform it into a badass, steeplechase-style Cannonball Run course with jumps and tunnels and loop-de-loops and... basically, create the high-speed driving equivalent of a miniature golf course. THAT I would watch. NASCAR? Not in this lifetime.
- Beach Vacations
Don't you get bored? I get bored. Oh my God, do I get bored. Granted, now that I have kids I spend way more time at the beach than I used to - because those malevolent creatures beautiful children can happily spend anywhere from 2-16 hours splashing around happily without a second thought - but my own inclination has never, ever, ever been to ask "Where can I find someplace tropical and hot where I can lie on the sand and recreate a Corona commercial" when I've thought about vacation destinations. Hell, on our honeymoon my wife was not treated to a week in Hawai'i or Aruba or Costa Rica, but rather was brought to the exotic shores of... Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island. Where it rained almost the entire time. Awesome.
That "runner's high" I've always heard about? Never experienced it. Every time I run, I feel like I'm going to die. Yes, I understand the health benefits... that's why I do it. But it hurts like hell, while I'm doing it and afterwards (knees, shins, muscles, ligaments, pride). I hate hate hate hate hate running, and cannot begin to wrap my head around how any why so many people profess to love it. Unless you're all masochists, in which case: have at it. By all means.
- Potato Chips
Why? With so many other fine snack choices available on American shelves (USA! USA! USA!), why would anyone choose potato chips? They are salty and dull, without any of the redeeming cheezy-packed goodness of Doritos or Cheetos or Smartfood or Jax or Combos or what have you. Yeah, I can see they have a purpose insofar as dipping is concerned - Ruffles in an onion dip is just fine, thank you - but on their own? *shrugs shoulders*
- Iced Tea
Gross gross gross gross gross. Given the choice between drinking iced tea or dying of dehydration, I'd probably drink the iced tea, but afterwards I'd regret it.
- College Basketball & Football
I realize this is a reflection of how and where I've grown up, but as a guy born, raised and schooled in New England - a place where college sports don't come close to holding the same level of importance as our beloved Sox, Pats and Celts - the mass appeal and hoopla associated with big-time college sports eludes me entirely. I have little doubt that if I'd gone to a D1 college, I'd have been as rabid and hardcore a fan as any of my friends who had that experience... but I didn't. And as a result, while I can appreciate the spectacle of March Madness and the insane intensity that its 1-and-out format can create, by and large I'm left unmoved by college hoops except as a primer for getting to know the guys I'll be watching in the NBA in a year or two. Same with college football... if I haven't read articles about specific players or programs, chances are I know jack about either of the two teams I'll see flickering across my screen on Saturdays between September and December... and it's almost certain I won't care enough to actually stop and watch the game. Basically, I have no investment in college sports, and subsequently they hold about as much interest as... I dunno, tennis? Yeah, tennis. I'll watch 5 minutes of tennis, college hoops or college football, and then I'm done. And while I respect and understand how others can feel so passionate about them, it's just not an interest I share in the least.
Anyhow. That's me. What about you? Answer below, or swipe the meme yourself -- and just let me know where to find it, so I can read & mock you just as you're about to mock me.