Anticipating that this will be yet another week where I struggle to come up with content that doesn't suck, I figured I'd preempt the suck by acquiescing to the demands of ye olde Black Hockey Jesus (as well as his comrade-in-DadCentric, PetCobra) in droppin' a meme on all y'all. In truth, I'm doing this by default — because while BHJ tagged the other DadCentric types with perpetuating this particular meme nightmare... I don't think he actually realizes that I exist. Nevertheless, I've picked up the cudgel and will now proceed to bludgeon you senseless. Close your eyes, make a wish, and proceed at your own risk.
What are your current obsessions?
I'm all over the fucking map. It's disconcerting, and my tastes these days are about as easy to define or rationalize as the flight path of a butterfly — but really, that's just me avoiding the question. Which bodes well for the rest of this meme. Alright: focus, dude. What am I all about these days? Or, at least, this week? Fine: of late, I've found myself obsessively listening to Aerogramme's final CD, My Heart Has A Wish That You Would Not Go, which I flip-flop back and forth between finding embarrassingly overwrought and absolutely sweep-you-up-and-carry-you-away great. Check out this and decide for yourself.
With the arrival of warmer weather, I've also started obsessively buying and drinking (with a little help from the Mrs.) New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs, which is unexpected considering that I've never actually enjoyed white wine before. But go figure: it's white wine that doesn't suck. There's character and subtlety and nuance, and you can get it all for under $20/bottle. (Although you can get it even better if you're willing to go up to the mid-$20s... mmm, White Haven.)
I'm also now completely obsessed with Twitter, to a really awful and unhealthy degree. But to be honest I figure the fact that I refresh it about sixteen times a minute is in no small part a function of my status as a contractor working from home... basically, I'm alone and sitting in front of my computer for 8 hours a day, and I find it difficult to be productive in a social vacuum. The refresh button basically serves as a substitute for bouncing foam balls off my office-mate's forehead at my ex-job. I miss that.
Who gave you the best oral sex of your life?
Yeah, as if there's a snowball's chance in hell that I'm going anywhere close to this one. Pass.
What's for dinner?
Leftovers from Saturday night's Mother's Day fiasco, in which I prepared dinner for four mothers and their respective impregnators. Plus the progeny of said impregnations. To be specific: marinated boneless rib eyes, grilled to perfection and now sitting cold and rock-hard in my fridge. This question sucks.
What is your greatest fear at the moment?
There are so many to choose from. Pandemic? Yeah, that's pretty fear-worthy. So is the fact that in about a month, my contract job will end and I'll once more be unemployed. Plus the ever-present possibility that TheWife's company will suddenly go belly-up, thereby fucking us in all kinds of colorful and horrifying ways. On top of that, there are some family health issues that I won't go into here (which I've kind of been of avoiding in real life, as well). But really, the answer is spiders. Giant, hairy spiders.
What are you listening to right now?
Right now? As in, "right now" right now? As I type, my iTunes is playing Jesu's Conqueror (specifically, the song Stanlow — click here for a listen), which a year later I still love with a capital LOVE. Crushingly heavy bliss-rock, which has been on constant rotation for me since the moment I picked it up.
If you were a God/Goddess, what would you be?
Vengeful beyond all comprehension. Like Santa.
What are your favorite holiday spots?
If you've been reading me with any regularity you know there's only one answer: Maine. Although this summer we're heading north to a different neck of the woods... further updates on that as events warrant.
What are you reading right now?
If you're doing the right thing and actually visiting this site live - and not just reading me through the unholy distillation of Google Reader or some such abomination - you'll find a handy little item in the right-hand column called Reading is Fundamental. Which means that you can easily glance over and discover that I am now, in fact, reading and being profoundly disturbed by Columbine.
What are four words that describe you?
Man. Myth. Legend. Jackass.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Onion rolls. The good kind, with the onions actually baked inside. Yeah, they fuck up your digestion, and they're sure as hell not a remotely healthy meal option, but daaaaamn... they're good.
Who or what makes you laugh?
The misfortune of others. That, and the films of Bobcat Goldthwait. Especially Shakes the Clown: "The Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies."
What's your favorite spring thing to do?
Get hay fever and feel like death for several weeks. That's always fun. You?
Where are you planning to travel next?
We're going down to Westchester over Memorial Day to visit family. It's not going to go well, in part because I've already spent countless hours fantasizing about getting in a fistfight with my brother-in-law.
What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
A couple of weeks ago, I took TheWife to a restaurant called Blue Ginger for her birthday. I had the teriyaki-glazed hanger steak with red miso-Dijon sauce, and it was terrific. It was also easily the worst part of our meal. Honestly, everything else we tasted was completely transcendent — just unexpected juxtapositions of flavor that had our eyes rolling back in our heads with wonder and delight. We were literally giggling with each new thing we tried.
Of course, it cost a fortune, but... damn. It was absolutely worth it.
When is the last time you were tipsy?
That would be last night, when we paired takeout Indian with a bottle of the aforementioned White Haven Sauv Blanc. Hic.
What is your favorite movie ever?
Joe Versus the Volcano. At some point, I'm going to write about this at length. Not today.
What is the biggest life lesson you've learned from your kids?
Sleep is a gift.
What song can't you get out of your head?
These days it's Fleet Foxes' White Winter Hymnal, if only because a) it's a great song, and b) because my kids demand to hear it over and over and over again.
What book do you know that you should read but refuse to?
Actually, Jason's answer of Infinite Jest is right up at the top of my list. I started it a couple of years ago, but got off track and have never since been able to work up the energy to attack it again. I'm also still feeling burned by A Confederacy of Dunces, which I put off reading for years, finally read... and hated with the white-hot hatred of a thousand white-hot, angry and hate-filled suns. I realize that the two books have nothing to do with each other beyond the fact that they're both big, quasi-comedic and hugely acclaimed touchstone novels by guys who later killed themselves, but... um... well, okay: they actually do have some things in common. Given which: I think I'll let Infinite Jest gather dust for a few more years.
What is your physical abnormality/abnormal physical ability?
My hair is unnaturally spectacular. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Why do you think you were called into the realm of the living?
I'm the comic relief who unexpectedly gets killed off in a really violent and disgusting fashion 2/3 of the way into the movie. Which gives me something to look forward to, I guess.
And thus, the meme endeth. If you want it... consider yourself tagged.
