So theWife was out of town on bidness all weekend, leaving me responsible for the care and feeding of our three offspring. Midmorning Sunday, the wind shifted and without warning or reason all hell abruptly broke loose -- the unholy trinity started wailing and crying and throwing toys and beating themselves with rattan canes to express the full extent of their misery in all its profound glory.
Poor dears. I felt terrible for them, and so - thinking only of their welfare - I gently picked them up one-by-one and threw placed them gently into the truck, kissing each on his or her sweaty, contorted little forehead as I strapped them in, and took a drive. My goal: to lull them to sleep with the calming rhythm of the vehicle on the road, so as to allow their tortured psyches to heal and the screaming - at last - to stop.
I headed south with no real destination in mind... took some roads less travelled, and headed further south... missed the left turn in Albuquerque... and somehow ended up in Woonsocket, RI.
That's right: Woonsocket. The happiest place on earth. Hometown of Nap Lajoie. Birthplace of Rocco Baldelli. The city that launched a thousand cheap, crappy package stores. The metropolis whose greatest claim to fame is that it's the midway point on the Providence-Worcester Railway.
You can only imagine how happy my kids were to wake up and find themselves lost in Woonsocket. To quote my son: "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!"





